You know you’re taking genealogy too seriously if…

– You are the only person to show up at the cemetery research party with a shovel.

– To put the “final touches” on your genealogical research, you’ve asked all of your closest relatives to provide DNA samples.

– You were instrumental in having “non-genealogical use of the genealogy room copy machine” classified as a federal hate crime.

– Your house leans slightly toward the side where your genealogical records are stored.

– You decided to take a two-week break from genealogy, and the U.S. Postal Office immediately laid off 1,500 employees.

– Out of respect for your best friend’s unquestioned reputation for honesty and integrity, you are willing to turn off that noisy surveillance camera while she reviews your 57 genealogical research notebooks in your home. The armed security guard, however, will remain.

– You plod merrily along “refining” your recently published family history, blissfully unaware that the number of errata pages now far exceeds the number of pages in your original publication.

– During an ice storm and power outage, you ignore the pleas of your shivering spouse and place your last quilt around that 1886 photograph of dear Uncle George.

– Ed McMahon, several tv cameras and an envelope from Publishers Clearing House arrive at your front door on Super Bowl Sunday, and the first thing you say is, “Are you related to the McMahons of Ohio?”

– “A Loving Family” and “Financial Security” have moved up to second and third, respectively, on your list of life’s goals, but still lag far behind “Owning My Own Microfilm Reader.”

– A magical genie appears and agrees to grant your any one wish, and you ask that the 1890 census be restored.

(Thank you to Martha Gibson for this contribution)

Genealogy Humor (I’m my own grandpa)

I recently found that two of my ancestors were related to each other in more than one way, and two of their ancestors were also related in more than one way, thus confusing the relationship calculator something terrible. This is a phenomenon known as “pedigree collapse” which explains how at a certain number of generations one would theoretically descend from more people than have ever lived, were it not for the fact that many people in our family trees occupy more than one relationship. All of this reminded me of a song from back in the day, by Ray Stevens, called “I’m My Own Grandpa.” The whole concept is quite funny, and the lyrics are as follows… Enjoy this wee bit of genealogy humor…. 🙂

Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law and really changed my life
For now my daughter was my mother, ’cause she was my father’s wife
And to complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
For if he were my uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow’s grownup daughter, who was of course my step-mother

Father’s wife then had a son who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter’s son
My wife is now my mother’s mother and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife, she’s my grandmother too

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I’m her grandchild
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
‘Cause now I have become the strangest ‘case you ever saw
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa

I’m my own grandpa, I’m my own grandpa
It sounds funny, I know but it really is so
I’m my own grandpa

Blog post written by Tracy Edward Tucker, copyright 2012, Lyrics copied from MetroLyrics.com